(At right, Todd Marrish's Econoline, courtesy of The TruthBrush)
JahBanni
Topeka, Kan. (TruthBrush) - The North American Man Boy Love Association, or NAMBLA as it is uncommonly referred to, is looking to go big time. The creepy weirdos released a statement yesterday promoting a new album full of songs by celebrities who purportedly are part of the association’s supposedly wide-ranging membership. The release and upcoming album are part of a new public relations push looking for universal acceptance of statutory relationships between yucky old men and unsuspecting young versions.
Todd Marrish, head weirdo of NAMBLA, held a press conference yesterday in the back of a windowless van in the alley of a candy shop just outside of Topeka, Kansas. Marrish, a balding man with a long brown and flowing braided tail, tinted yellow glasses, and a disheveled mustache, says despite any claims to the contrary the celebrities included on the album are in fact members of NAMBLA.
“It is time we come clean,” said the 39 year-old Marrish inside the 1987 Ford Econoline from which NAMBLA operates. “We have tens of members and we want to be accepted. Out of all our members, many are celebrities with great musical talents, and we want that to be known.”
NAMBLA’s debut album, entitled “Maybe YOU’RE Crazy: Artists for Acceptance” is set to feature songs from famous artists such as Gary Glitter, Pete Townshend of The Who, and most notably the King of Pop himself – Michael Jackson.
All three of the artists have denied any involvement with the project and claim any of the songs used on the compilation were previous works not intended for use as part of a NAMBLA publicity campaign. All three, however, have in the past been linked to inappropriate contact with children, while only Jackson has been accused of carousing with young boys.
“Gary has not recorded music in years,” said Sarah Sequin, 14, his wife and advisor. “He is unequivocally not part of this association.”
Lawyers for Townshend have been equally as forthcoming with their denials. “Pete wrote songs such as ‘My Generation’ and albums such as ‘Tommy’ for The Who. He never recorded the song on the album. It’s fact,” wrote Thomas Thompson, Townshend’s lawyer.
Michael Jackson actually went public to defend himself. Earlier this morning, appearing in the mirror of a London hotel, Jackson claimed the song on the album IS in fact performed by him, but was intended as a public service address for parenting. “Don’t Let Your Son Go Down On Me,” was a re-make of the classic Elton John song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtwXlhU-J-c), intended to help parents see signs of dangerous behavior by their children.
“I never intended for this song to fall into the hands of a disgusting group like NAMBLA,” said Jackson. “I am actually a member, but this song shouldn’t be on the album.”
Marrish doesn’t buy the claims, and will continue his plan to release the album.
“I’m saddened to hear these denials by three of our most honorable members,” said Marrish. “But it does not weaken our resolve to become part of mainstream America.”
Marrish, who offered Spree, Nerds, Kit-Kat’s and other candies to those who entered the van for the press conference, expects the album to be released shortly after he serves his upcoming 3 month sentence on weird and socially and morally disgusting behavior charges.
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